Today

Today:

Probably the roughest day of camp so far, behavior wise.

My heart just aches over the way these girls treat each other and us. They are so mean to one another and so disrespectful towards us. We have really been dealing with it for the past few weeks heavily, and I don’t understand why it is, other than it is the way most of them have been taught at home, and schools certainly do nothing about it.

We have been told, both by staff, and by some of the campers themselves, that this group is the most wild and disrespectful yet.

I have had to be really stern, to the point of pretty much yelling today, with them. Sometimes it is the only way to communicate to 30-something girls who are all yelling and being ugly to one another. And they have to see that they have to listen to us.

It can just be hard because we want camp to be fun and I struggle because I just want them to know I love and care about them, but I know that discipline is necessary, and that shows that we care as well.

This afternoon they were just so bad and saying hurtful things to one girl in particular while we were trying to play a game, and they wouldn’t listen to any of us, so Kay came in and ended camp early.

Today was already kind of an emotionally trying day for me. A girl came to me this morning telling me some really heavy news. Kay has a relationship with this girl already, and it was information she needed to know, so I went to talk to Kay about it and we ended up talking for a while, and part of me has really just been feeling so badly for the fact that I will be leaving soon, and leaving these girls. And I guess I am just sad, both because I will be leaving , and because I can’t just change them or change their lives or rescue them. You know?

So overall, today has just been a trying day.

It is a weird place to be, you know? Being torn like this. A huge chunk of me longs for home and loved ones at home, but a huge chunk of my heart is here with these girls. And it is going to be really difficult, but that’s good, right? I mean I’m glad I love them the way I do.

Anyway, God is good. ALL THE TIME.