So, this morning began a bit rough… constantly having to get on the girls, which once again I have to remind myself is so necessary… hopefully we are planting seeds in their minds… anyway. I was just so drained and close to tears a couple of times.

But as the day progressed, it got better and better. By the end of the day, the Lord had renewed my strength and my joy for being around these girls. They are just so funny!

The main thing that we deal with I guess (other than just blatant disrespect and all) is how they talk about one another all the time. And when one girl was sat down and talked to about it, she just said she does it because her mom does it… which is the truth behind about everything with these girls… it is what they see, what they are taught, what they are raised it. You talk about people; you defend yourself and your family no matter what, etc. Of course, there are some exceptions – but very, very few, if any.

So today we had a staff meeting after all the girls were home and we were back from taking them, and we had a discussion about some of the issues in some of the families. One mom who is on crack and probably passed out most of the time (the girl who is the biggest instigator of them all), two girls who lives with her grandparents… the grandpa lost his job and they have been going without food in order to feed the girls and the girls know about it (she has been having a terrible attitude), one girl who goes home to an abusive grandmother, two girls who have terrible home situation and a father pretty much dying of cancer… and it goes on and on.

When you see that, when you know that, you can’t be angry with them.

All I wanted to do this afternoon in our meeting was sob for them. It seems so hopeless. How do you combat the way they have been trained to think, what they have been raised in? How do you give them enough love and grace?

Kay says she thinks they are trying to distance themselves from us in some ways because camp is going to end in a couple of weeks, and I will NOT let that happen. Part of me wants to stay forever, you know?

I know that this is what I am called to – the hopeless and hurting, and I know it isn’t going to be easy… it is going to be really hard. But I want to rescue them and I just can’t do it.

Hopefully things they learn here and the love they get here will show them another way of life, and they will know that they don’t have to end up making the terrible decisions some of them come from, and they won’t end up here living in the transition housing because they are homeless with kids.

Hearing their dreams and all the things they want to do with their lives burdens me so much. I pray, really I beg God, that they will make it.

The odds are against them, and it absolutely kills me.

But God is much bigger than all that, right?